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About NLP - Including What
You Can Expect to Learn in NLP Training,
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If you have a working definition of NLP, you can rest assured that at least some of the world's most renowned NLP experts will probably disagree with you, as well as with each other. And if you have studied and used NLP for some time, particularly in an environment which has allowed you to scientifically track and analyse results, you will also see that the frequent claims made by NLP trainers and graduates are often in the realms of the ridiculous. This is why Lifeworks has withdrawn from public training of NLP practitioner programs - a desire to minimise association with the cowboy hype and lack of knowledge of duty-of-care issues which currently plague public training practice.
Although the words "neuro-linguistics" were already in use by the 1950's, the term Neuro-Linguistic Programming was first coined by Dr Richard Bandler and John Grinder as they continued the work of transformational grammarians in the late 1970s. Since then there have been many contributors who have modified, expanded and further developed the field that is NLP.
NLP also grew out of "modelling", the process of examining and interpreting the behaviour of "excellence" so that excellence could be explained, taught, and replicated. This is one aspect of NLP that has grown very little since the early days, apart from the development of Design Human Engineering and the work of a few NLP pioneers, such as Rex Sikes.
Initially, the NLP models used were that of excellence in therapy, and we owe much of NLP to revered therapists such as Milton Erickson (Ericksonian Hypnosis), Virginia Satir (family therapy), Fritz Perls (Gestalt Therapy), Frank Farelly (Provocative Therapy), and others. These people were mostly unable to explain their own brilliance, since much that they did was below consciousness (perhaps in the nature of "intuition"). When their performance was analysed by Bandler and Grinder, what had formerly been unconscious and unnoticed became available for us all.
One thing is for sure, NLP is not a magic wand. The classic NLP texts are full of amazing and miraculous stories, many of which do not fully "check out". Unfortunately the field of NLP is crammed to the rafters with snake oil, greed and plain stupidity. Many trainers have well and truly left behind any vestige of critical thinking and freely repeat the most ridiculous and unverified new-age clap-trap you could possibly imagine. And a gullible public continues to be sold on dreams of power and wealth beyond their ability to achieve, and gets very little real NLP.
This is why we have not promoted public training in NLP for nearly 4 years. We would rather cut our training revenue to shreds than be associated with the circus that has taken over NLP!
The other really unpleasant thing about the way NLP is often promoted, and used, is the manipulative aspect. It's very true that you can use NLP skills to manipulate people into doing things. The gurus think this is very clever and lots of them are making money on the proposition that this is a great way to go about improving your life, at the expense of the free will of others. What they don't tell you, and what I don't believe many of them even realise, is that any gains achieved in this way are exceedingly short term, and result in long-term harm to relationships. Manipulation has always stunk and NLP has not improved the smell!
All of this is a tragedy, because NLP taught and used correctly can be exceedingly useful, and can empower your communication and your life in wonderful ways. In a therapeutic context, NLP skills give enormous advantage - without doubt they are the centrepiece of our chronic pain, weight loss and smoking cessation programs. In business, selling and persuasion, and performance in sport or other fields, NLP is equally valuable. It is in no way a magic wand, but a set of skills to be learned and applied persistently in order to master.
Personally, I think about NLP as an incredible advance in behavioural science that can literally guarantee a better, more satisfying and rewarding life, personally and professionally, no matter what your background or profession. Of course this stance has to be balanced by the requirement for realism of expectation! You may have superb communication and influence skills, you may have great skill in managing your internal states and even in helping others to manage their own internal states. Yet if you expect to become successful in any given field, you must obviously attend to the development of that expertise. It may seem strange to you, but many times we have prospective students tell us they want to use NLP to reach the top of their profession, or "to help others", despite having little or no knowledge of the area they wish to excel in. NLP may assist in that, but in no way substitutes for professional training in the field you wish to enter or excel in.
Having said that, the tools of NLP are indeed legend! Here are descriptions of just some of the main components of NLP training courses. Take a look and imagine what a difference these types of skills could make to your personal and professional life ....
The Meta Model
Bandler and Grinder described a linguistic model which they called the NLP Meta Model. Not only does the model identify common generalisations, distortions and deletions which prevent a fuller representation of experience, but it proposes clarifying questions that help to restore a closer approximation of the experience. The NLP Meta Model has proven to be a useful and powerful tool for uncovering deeper meaning and for overcoming limitations. In other words, it's a very useful aid to getting at the root of a problem, or showing up the inadequacy of an unhelpful belief.
Here's a simple example:
Bill has been talking to Mary (a client with the ability to make buying decisions) about buying a supply of his widgets. Mary says "Our company already buys widgets from your competitor." Bill simply replies "What would happen if you didn't?"
This is a simple, elegant,
and respectful way to examine whether someone is simply parroting out
of habit, or whether there's an alternative option available. Two or
three NLP Meta
Model Challenges will generally stop any objection,
including criticisms or statements of limitation, in their tracks!
Skilful use of the NLP
Meta Model not only increases your ability to
influence people, but provides easy, natural ways to broaden your own
and other people's
experience of the world and discover new, more exciting solutions to
limitations we had previously clung to.
The
Milton Model
This is a linguistic model named after the artfully vague language patterns of master hypnotist Milton Erickson. The Milton Model is in fact the inverse of the Meta Model, deliberately clouding meaning in order to suggest or confuse, where such intention would be therapeutically useful. We can even use the Milton Model on ourselves: "I wonder just how quickly and easily and in how many delightful ways I will today discover myself enjoying new and interesting insights."
Just one example of the
Milton Model which almost every sales professional has used is "Would
you like to meet with me on Tuesday morning or on Thursday afternoon?"
This pattern (one of many) is known as a "double-bind" and is
devastatingly effective at getting appointments.
Calibration
This term sounds like something machines do, but in fact humans can measure with infinitely more finesse than any machine in existence. Calibration, as used in NLP, is the skill of learning to read unconscious, non-verbal responses. Calibration skills are essential if one is to develop any facility at all with high-level NLP communication skills and techniques.
If you have superb calibration skills, not only will you be able to "read people like a book" but often times you'll know more about them in the first few minutes of conversation than they know about themselves! Combined with authentic rapport, you'll gain a whole new understanding and appreciation for the uniqueness of the individual, and your relationships will flourish!
Rapport
Rapport is connection or bonding with someone. Without rapport, very few NLP techniques work well. Rapport is probably the single most important tool in NLP, and in communication in general, and of course it hinges on great calibration skills.
NLP takes rapport to previously unknown levels. This level of rapport is the key ingredient of confidence and charisma. No wonder that NLP training dramatically increases the sales conversion rates of the sales professionals we train!
This level of rapport, combined with the deeper understanding of ourselves and others now available to us, enlivens and enriches all our our relationships, both at work, and with those nearest and dearest to us.
Rapport is the reason why manipulation never has an enduring benefit. If you're genuinely in rapport with someone you can't manipulate them because you would no more do that to them than do it to yourself. Any attempt to manipulate immediately pulls you out of rapport, and pollutes the transaction. The person may still go along with what you ask, but they will have an uncomfortable feeling about you, and if they're a client will most likely never refer others to you.
This is exactly why it is so silly (let alone unethical!) to attempt to use NLP manipulatively. Any trainer who recommends using NLP in this way does that only because they're ignorant of the consequences.
Submodalities
These are aspects or qualities of "sense": visual, auditory, kinesthetic, olfactory and gustatory. Examples of visual submodalities are: brightness, colour/black and white, big/small, near/far, movie/still, 3D/2D. By deliberating altering submodalities, we can readily change our perception.
You see, when we think of, for example, an apple, we don't all have an identical picture in our heads, do we? Some of us will have a red apple and some a green one. Some of us won't have colour at all, but black and white. Some of us will see it moving, others will see a snapshot. Some people will have it seemingly close up, while others may have it in their mind at a distance. There are many other qualities as well.
I've made the claim that submodality change actually changes our perception of events or things. I go so far as to say that submodality change actually changes the meaning of events or things. Try this one:
In your mind, imagine watching a roller coaster full of people. See the people hurtling up and down and around, screaming as their hair flies back in the wind. Your heart rate probably hasn't changed that much, has it? Now instead of having that picture "dissociated" in your head, "associate" into it by placing yourself in the front seat of the roller coaster as you now hurtle up and down and around, your hair flying back in the wind. Notice that if you imagine this well, the experience is quite different. You might feel a "lurch" in your stomach and notice that your heart skips up a few beats.
If we understand our own
submodality patterns, we can change the meaning of just about anything
in our lives we choose! It's a lot easier to "play" with submodalities
than it is to change our feelings by willpower!
Anchoring
An "anchor" can be thought of as something that triggers a particular internal state. Anchoring lies at the heart of most change techniques. It involves associating an internal response (or "state") with an external stimulus (which could be kinesthetic, auditory, visual, olfactory or gustatory). We use anchoring to deliberately choose our internal response or state. In fact you already use and are subject to anchoring all of the time -- unfortunately before we become aware of that fact, many of the effects of this "accidental" anchoring are unhelpful.
Here are some anchors (triggers) that many of us already have:
We already have a lot of anchors, in all sensory systems:
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Anchoring is a great way to
remove addictions and compulsions, for instance a chocolate addiction.
We have a "Chocoholic Workshop" where in just a few minutes we show
people how to remove life-long addictions to foods like chocolate,
bread, pasta etc. People have lost kilos just from that simple process!
There's a free report on this technique, which we call the
"Kill Cravings Technique" on www.weightchoice.com.au.
NLP Well-formedness
for
Goal Acquisition
Just because a goal seems like a good one, does not mean we can easily acquire it, or even that we should. By adhering to well-formedness conditions, we do our best to ensure an effective outcome which is "ecological" or fits well within the framework of our lives. This is about as opposite "The Secret" as you could get!
There are 6 NLP well-formedness conditions which we use to "put our goal through the wringer". We at Lifeworks have added a 7th which gives even more power to the process. If you thought the SMART method of goal setting was good, well-formedness will stun you!
Using well-formedness, your
goal setting will go to a brand new level. As an example, almost
everyone in our programs chooses to set income goals over the course of
the training. Typically, incomes increase between 15-100% either
immediately or within 6 months. When you use well-formedness,
particularly with the unique Lifeworks additional criteria, there is
almost nothing that can go wrong and you are on track for guaranteed
success.
NLP Meta Programs
These are the contentless pieces of programming that unconsciously run our lives! We may be aware of the results of our meta-programs, but they are unconsciously run and maintained. If we understand our meta-programs, we can understand and manipulate what motivates us.
Just one of these which some people have heard of is the "Away/Toward" program.
Away from/Toward
Madeleine was a sales manager of a team of 8. Times were tough and the team was struggling, so Madeleine decided to “motivate” the team by offering bonuses for higher sales.
2 members of Madeleine’s team actually got higher sales. 2 were unchanged, and 4 actually got worse! What happened?
The answer to this puzzle is easy once you understand that each of us is motivated away from pain and toward pleasure. However, we are motivated in different proportions of “toward” and “away” and individuals have a “critical point” along a continuum which is their prime motivating point.
The 2 members who improved were almost entirely “toward” motivated, meaning that they were easily inspired by reward.
The 2 who were unchanged actually needed to have a little “pain” built in. Without that, their motivation “recipe” wasn’t quite right.
The 4 who got worse would possibly have improved if no bonus were offered, but instead the consequences of failure were made very clear!
There's so much more to NLP! Used intelligentlyand ethically NLP can impact positively on every single area of your personal and professional life! But make sure your hopes and goals for NLP are realistic. Yes, you can improve relationships, yes you can lift your performance, yes, your company can increase its revenue. Feel welcome to call us if you would like to discuss a specific training program for your company.
Best wishes,
Christine Sutherland